Friday, May 19, 2017

Your Faith Will Be Tested and Asking Where is the Love?

Galatians 6:9King James Version (KJV)

9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.


If you are a Christian long enough, you will have times that test your faith. One question coming to me regarding being a Christian and seeking a closer relationship with God, is this idea of "Where is the love?"

I have to admit, somethings weigh on me heavily. When one sees what a mess the "Christian" world is, that is not always faith enhancing. The oppression of false Christians leads many away from the gospel. There were times, I was writing for this blog and thought, "It's gotten so crazy". One can see the non-believers who threw their hands up long ago or those who have fallen away and done so. As I wrote in the ODM article, I can understand why some go quiet.

This may shock some, but I got very scared of falling away for a period of time. I know this sounds bad. I was afraid. I am JUST coming out of it.  I almost fainted. I got tired.  I was embarrassed to even write of this time until NOW. I did not want to make anyone stumble, but now I have come out if it,I feel more comfortable writing about it.

One thing, these moments will happen. Christians need to be prepared for them. One struggle I have faced and written and hinted about a little bit, is feelings that God does not love me. There are times in the faith life, where one has to blockade one's own emotions and stand on decision and scripture. I have had those times. My own emotions were telling me to "Give up" and "Throw it all in the bag".

Lots of people had those monster parents, who could not or did not love them or imposed conditions on them. I know part of my recent spiritual struggle in being free from spiritual abusers, and more was rooted in some of that earlier conditioning. As people here know already and I have admitted I faced severe abuse as a child.

Because of my upbringing I believe I was vulnerable to spiritual abusers, and others who came with a long laundry list, presenting God as another "demanding" "parent" who would remove His love upon the littlest infraction. This is the aspect of fundamentalism that rankled me more and more. This vision of God as a nothing but a punishing "authoritarian" where all were to be crushed under his foot for the smallest infraction.

I had a recent email debate with one reader of this blog. She kept focusing on remarriage, and in her case she divorced her second husband. Her first husband was long ago gone, and married to another woman. I told her why pile sin upon sin, as she divorced the second husband she cared for. The first husband has already committed "fornication" to be with someone else. So everyone ends up alone? A second husband crying alone in a house, forsaken for a life alone? I wrote her and said, "Where is the love in that?"

She told me that I needed to tell people that one sin could send you to hell, I said if that is true, no one is getting into heaven. She also knew I had written and warned about "easy believism" and more. Maybe she is someone who needed to justify a decision she made, and was real but I found the whole exchange weird.

I felt sorry for her, that she saw God in the way that she did. No one in this life can be perfect. If God expects us to be perfect to get into heaven, forget it. Only Jesus Christ is perfect and He is the way we are getting in. I was made weary from this exchange.

In the evangelical world, there's too many people with NO MERCY. Some suffer because they have no mercy even for themselves.  There is a lot of coldness. Judgment comes first and mercy last. We can see it in politics. Mercy isn't even a word you hear much in evangelical circles.

Luke 6:36 - Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

Most now are rallying for all the health care and Social Security to be taken away. If some of these health bills are passed, my life will be directly affected. We have even discussed leaving the country if we are unable to stay alive or pay our rent. My husband finally got some medical care for the first time in ten years only to maybe have it instantly snatched away. How much mercy is there out there anymore in a country that has fallen in love with power and showing none of it?

 Some of you have seen me complain about Trump and I pointed out the other day an article where nonbelievers are basically saying Christians are appearing as sociopaths to them. I know what they mean, for I have felt it. There's real people who are having their lives destroyed all over this nation. Ever see the Christian pastors ask why the rent is so high? I got friends in bigger cities paying 2/3rds of their income on rent and having it increased by 200 dollars every year while their wages go flat  The "official" evangelical world has embraced our oppressors. 

I was told by the spiritual abuser, that I was the one "demonized" instead of my wicked abusers. That discrepancy got to me. I think of various religious messengers who told me over and over that I was no good and did not measure up. I had enough of that growing up. Sadly that left me more vulnerable to predators like that, as I sought to "people please" and be a "good enough" person.

What was I to think of the "you are never good enough" crowd? They hurt my relationship with God, because I started to see God as just someone else, I never was "good enough" for, even though I had trusted in the righteousness of Jesus Christ for my salvation.  Look at the Duggars and others with their long laundry list of rules. This idea of never measuring up, was given to me by these people. I believe now most aren't even saved, they saw "god" as a pissed off sheriff ready to shoot every sinner or beat them up with a baseball bat. So wonder they have no qualms about their lauded politicians blowing up thousands of people browner then them overseas. They kept telling me one sin slip up and their "god" was ready to smack me into yesterday.  They told me, my body was broken down and had severe things wrong with it, due to my endless sins and "lack of faith".

People who believe in a "mean""god"can have him.I want nothing to do with their 'false god" and antichrist. And yes that is who they follow. So many are caught up in America vestiges of achievement, showing off and different interpretations of the prosperity gospel, they don't even see how their "religion" has lost all love.  My own faith was impacted by this feeling that my life in this country had no value, and that I would be thrown into a gutter to die, because of "muh taxes". This kind of thing gets to a person.

John 13:34King James Version (KJV)

34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

The love has been lost, among many.

Spiritual abuse can mess with a person's mind. I have not come out unscathed.  This spiritual abuse was more then any earthly counselors could deal with. The only Counselor I have for this one is the Holy Spirit. Who would believe my tales about a closet Satanist who writes against the new world order and acted as a loving friend before starting the mind screws? They would all say I had become mentally ill and would unload the psychotropic drugs. Over a short period of years, I was betrayed multiple times. I even had to dump a friend of thirty years from college,  I believe was "connected" to my parents and who rose up ranks in the Army. When she admitted to me, somethings she did for her "work", I knew we could not be friends anymore. She basically was teaching soldiers to shut off all conscience.

I'm in a time of transition, confronting my own relationship with God. It will be a time to build love and trust I hope. I have asked in terms of all the "fundamentalism" and religious rules that spiritual abusers tried to impose on me, "Where is the love"?

 I have a struggle, that has formed the foundation of my faith testing, I felt unloved by God. I have asked myself, how and why this happened? Too many life struggles? I know one thing that happened is I saw some very wicked people have victory in this world. I had to deal with very wicked people. I've written about this for years. As I grew in the faith, my eyes spiritually opened, and I parted ways from many. Some things I was shown I almost could not handle.

Narcissists and sociopaths don't love anyone but in this world they buy and "get" the "love" and "admiration" of many. Even my past spiritual abuser is "well liked" with grandchildren and family, and higher social standing then me. Other familial abusers have major status in this world, wealth, children and grandchildren as well. Over the last month, I made the decision to walk away from my ENTIRE FAMILY, and I do not just mean "mother" and others, I have already done so with years ago, but cousins and outlying relatives as well. For some of us that division Jesus spoke of has already come.

When I parted ways from abusers, no one would listen to my side of the story, the family rallied around the most wicked. For years, my name was smeared among all of them. However as I grew in the Christian faith, much of their life, values and focus on appearances and wealth grew more loathsome to me. While I believe homosexuals are far too harangued as many heterosexual sins are ignored, having one ENTIRE family in my family come out as homosexual [they have done so Facebook] with a gay father and homosexual teenage son and now a teenage daughter with no hormonal or physical problems ready to mutilate herself to turn male, I couldn't tolerate it. I cried over this girl and what had been done to her. She has already taken a male name. Her father's and brother's rejection of women has obviously impacted her. The wicked people kept me away from their children so there was no way for me to reach out to her.

My contact was rare with these cousins, but I noticed the rest of the family supported all of this. even my own mother.  I found out other relatives before the homosexuals came out, knew of their orientation. This told me fast, while so many objected to the religious things I had posted. Another family member also died, who I had been cut off from. In her case, she was poor and abused too, but she never escaped and she believed what they told her. This relative had rejected the gospel directly from me. I had a lot of grief which formed a lot of my spiritual angst.

There's a lot more to the family picture, my family is "connected", most are mid-level--6 figures-- they are at the good government job, Catholic church level. There's a few multimillionaire cousins, and one brother in law running for state senator. One cousin is a priest who ran an Indian boy's home, yes I found the school listed on one of those sexual abuse websites though his name was never specifically mentioned. My mother's best friend got a very high government job and was a canon lawyer nun. She got her, her first job. There are connections to a large very well known Catholic college. I guess you get my drift. I found out that as our household sunk into poverty, 6 figure relatives got others good professional jobs out of college.With one cousin, three relatives even lied to me about what town she lived in to hide the connected job she got out of college.  I was in the fog and clueless about a lot. Discovering multitudes of lies, was quite difficult. I feel freer now in being away but I have had the pressure of having absolutely no family in this world outside my husband. For some of Christians in this world, these things will happen.

When you see me post things about the idolatry of the family in the churches, there is a reason for it. I admit my own experiences weren't normal but I believe many of the family focused churches are doing many a disservice. What if you have no family?

It's scary when you see so many people becoming empty to match an empty culture. - What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul? I know one thing I struggled with was feeling like the wicked had "won". They had the admiration of all, and I was cut off. No one wanted or cared about my side of the story. For years my beliefs had been vilified or openly mocked. There was no choice but to walk away.  I walked away from the majority a few years ago but the decision to walk away from all of them was hard but had to be done.

The wicked often have the world's love and goodwill and this can be a severe testing of faith. Some of us end up the ones alone, while we ask God, "Why won't He open people's eyes?" I struggled big time watching everyone march to the side of the narcissists and sociopaths. While I will tell people be prepared to deal with the wicked of this world, the church system will deny they even exist. They will tell you to reconcile with the non-repentant wicked. I would be called "hateful" in the majority of  churches in making the choice to walk away from a wicked family.

The same "group-think" I saw among my family, I also have seen in some Christian circles and the evangelical world as a whole. Conformity comes first, oppression of the poor is openly supported, and always being in competition is there too. I felt that wicked people had triumphed and God had not listened to my prayers. Satan was out to destroy me.

I basically in the last 4 years have walked away from a lot of people. It created a lot of angst and a spiritual testing that was severe especially realizing I had to walk away from the last who chose to believe the lies of sociopaths, and of this world.While some may see this action as unloving for me doing, there are people in this world there can be no real communication with, I tried for decades and followed God's leading. I also am examining myself, asking "Where is the love?" I have to ask it of myself too of course. The very nature of God is being maligned in the eyes of many people because of the lack of love they hold.

I am coming out of this faith test, it was not easy.

 My own relationship with God is changing. I can't be under the yoke of a "God" I see as lacking love for me like my own family and which left me vulnerable to spiritual abusers. God Himself I think is setting me free. He after all gave me the strength to walk away from the wicked. 

Psalm 10Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

Psalm 10
1 Why standest thou afar off, O Lord?
why hidest thou thyself in times of trouble?
2 The wicked in his pride doth persecute the poor:
let them be taken in the devices that they have imagined.
3 For the wicked boasteth of his heart’s desire,
and blesseth the covetous, whom the Lord abhorreth.
4 The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God:
God is not in all his thoughts.
5 His ways are always grievous;
thy judgments are far above out of his sight:
as for all his enemies, he puffeth at them.
6 He hath said in his heart, I shall not be moved:
for I shall never be in adversity.
7 His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and fraud:
under his tongue is mischief and vanity.
8 He sitteth in the lurking places of the villages:
in the secret places doth he murder the innocent:
his eyes are privily set against the poor.
9 He lieth in wait secretly as a lion in his den:
he lieth in wait to catch the poor:
he doth catch the poor, when he draweth him into his net.
10 He croucheth, and humbleth himself,
that the poor may fall by his strong ones.
11 He hath said in his heart, God hath forgotten:
he hideth his face; he will never see it.
12 Arise, O Lord; O God, lift up thine hand:
forget not the humble.
13 Wherefore doth the wicked contemn God?
he hath said in his heart, Thou wilt not require it.
14 Thou hast seen it;
for thou beholdest mischief and spite, to requite it with thy hand:
the poor committeth himself unto thee;
thou art the helper of the fatherless.
15 Break thou the arm of the wicked and the evil man:
seek out his wickedness till thou find none.
16 The Lord is King for ever and ever:
the heathen are perished out of his land.
17 Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the humble:
thou wilt prepare their heart,
thou wilt cause thine ear to hear:
18 to judge the fatherless and the oppressed,
that the man of the earth may no more oppress.




Alex Jones: "Trump to Resign on Monday"



 Honestly who knows, what is going to happen with Trump. Will we have President Pence, or Ryan or as some suppose Hatch? Alex Jones who protested both parties for years is a shill who has mislead so many. One line with this one, "He's not a conservative, he's a populist", made me burst out laughing. Sure Alex, with all those Goldman Sachs appointees! Trump already back tracked on NAFTA. Trump is an "insider" too. I do not support Trump. He was brought in as some kind of Trump card.

Right now it is hard to know what the elites are up to. Sometimes trying to make my way through the thicket of "fake news" and the biases of both sides is very hard. It's like they want to confuse everyone even more. Are they trying to spark off a Civil War in the USA? Is this to heighten trouble with Russia, if half the populace believes Russia "interfered" with our elections? Is this all a distraction for another event?


Remember that book NONE DARE CALL IT CONSPIRACY?

They use to talk about Russia formenting trouble in the USA and "taking over", of course they talked about this from the "fear the socialists" angle but remember the socialists and capitalists all got married since the megacorporations and ultra wealthy bought out our government and gave themselves "socialist" bank bailouts. Don't let all these terms confuse you. You got to think outside the right and left box now.

Is Time magazine trying to TELL us something? Am I odd to ask this question. America the ship is sinking while the captain and crew fight.

What does liberal and conservative even mean anymore? Both parties are for tyranny and economically crushing the average person. Even knowing what people are facing in terms of having to pay for rent, and the lowering job opportunities, our news is so owned, that the day to day life of the average person is simply not talked about. No one will ask, should someone be having to pay 1400-2000 dollars a month for an average 1 bedroom apartment in a large city  or address the growing economic troubles, we will be told the "economy is doing great!"

He talks about all the presidents being corrupt, well Trump is too.

 Infowars continues with their theory that Trump will be forced to resign. 

  Donald Trump Will Find A Way to Resign Says President's Ghostwriter


Catholic Cardinal Visits Bruderhof Community



 I found this interesting given the Bruderhof community supports Rod Dreher's Benedict Option. I suppose this tells us how ecumenical so many "anabaptists" have become and I find it interesting that a Catholic Cardinal paid a visit to this "intentional community".

  Bruderhof communities

Saturday, May 13, 2017

"Has Evangelical Christianity Become Sociopathic?"

"Has Evangelical Christianity Become Sociopathic?"

Even non-believers are picking up on the smell of brimstone and evil among the closet luciferians who are waving the "Christian flag" for the religious right. They are fulfilling their true master, Satan's command, that they lead people away from the gospel. I don't agree with all of the article of course, certainly not abortion and other leftist positions,but the religious right's support of amoral politicians stripping away the last of the safety net is overt evil. The regular world is asking "Why have "Christians" turned so evil?" 

Young people are leaving the churches in droves, and it's not all "godless liberals" as Fox News would state but they are fed up with the blindness towards their economic realities, and how the churches promote a lifestyle and status they cannot afford or are not experiencing.  They see the meanness, hypocrisy and push for political control and money. They see with their own eyes the lust for war, and the spiritual abuse that occurs on the macro-level.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

The False Church System Deception




This video has some good messages, but while I have made the decision to post it, I wish the youtuber had avoided a "Latin" name and use of the Chi Rho for their avatar on youtube. We can hope they just have more studies to do.

One thing he points out is the churches use of STAGES. I wrote a post long ago on this blog, how the use of "altars" in churches was wrong, but if you think about it, having a STAGE is wrong as well, because it turns "church" into a performance, with elevated men or clergy at the front getting all the attention. He refers to the "show" being common to everything from the Catholic church to the small baptist church and he is correct.

One time I told my husband, "What is the use of attending these lecture halls, once a week, where we sit and listen to some guy wrest scripture for an hour or more and teach things more and more I don't agree with? I thought about that more, "Why are churches run like lecture halls and theater shows where a passive audience just sits there eating it up?"Some could claim to me, "Well the Quakers did things quite a bit different"... However there, false teachings entered in and transcendentalism but outside of that one exception I can't think of one church that calls itself Christian that "deviates" from the formula discussed in this video.

He questions, this "platform" and says no one questions it. I liked the phrase "the conman's tactic of social compliance."  He is right about the question, "Where do you go to church?"being a nonsense question because those who are saved ARE the church. His bit of information about William Tyndale translating ekklesia as "congregation"is telling. I always hated that phrase too, that "the church is a hospital for sinners". It has been used to shame me many times for not attending church. He shows us that in scripture, the gospel and epistle writers refer to the church as those sanctified in Jesus Christ.

I said to my husband in the conversation mentioned above, "Why isn't church more interactive?" So I found it interesting when this youtuber, quotes 1 Cor. 14:26 as the biblical way to do church.

How is it then, brethren? when ye come together, every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying.


Do any of you know of a church run that way? I sure don't. If anyone speaks out in church besides the pastor, they are often removed. He makes a good point that the church system has departed from these verses. The house churches in the book of Acts are mentioned as well, where believers gathered. He compares the order of the Protestant church services to the Roman Catholic Mass, I saw too many "ceremonies" even at baptist churches. He is correct about the clergy/laity divide which I have referred to on this blog and is referred to by Jesus Christ as the error of the Nicolaitans.

I am glad later in the video, he does bring up that some may wonder how is this feasible, understanding that many of us know no people in real life who have voiced the same concerns.

Watch this video and tell me what you think....

Odd Theology: Earth is Hell?



I saw this the other day and wonder if this is tied into the Archon teachings I posted about the other week. Wouldn't a "prison planet" be akin to hell? This definitely is a dangerous teaching, because if people believe they are already in "hell" on earth why would they feel a need for a Savior?This is a teaching I could see enticing people. I felt the tendrils of it, even licking at my brain, like "yeah this world is so bad, maybe we really are living in hell". I was having a bad day that day,  and I had to shake it off saying, "That's not biblical."

 It is disturbing. This world can definitely have aspects of hell in it, with murder, crime, abuse, severe illnesses and worse but how do you explain having God's Word available, or nature or beauty?  Why would the Holy Spirit be here indwelling in Christians? I have heard of other religions claiming this earth is hell. One friend told me the Chabads did so but it is something I don't know much about. Some New Age philosophies seem to skirt around it. Jesus Christ warned about hell for a reason. "Where" it is exactly is, we can't specify, but to say this earth is hell is total confusion.

There are those who claim hell is in the "center" of this earth, but I have not seen any bible verses or anything else that points to that. It is just speculation.

2 Thessalonians 1:9King James Version (KJV)

9 Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;

How many "ODM's" are left?

I'm using Phoenix Preacher's phrase [online discernment ministries or ODMS] He uses it disparagingly, I'm using it as a descriptor.

Yes there's very few out there now. Independent ones, even far less.

I have seen many come and go. I know my postings have slowed down considerably and I don't do the heavier research of years ago. I've been sick for years but my energy has gotten more and more limited. Maybe slower is better then nothing....yes that is where I am at now. This is one forum for some to talk about issues that are NOT WELCOMED anywhere else, so I want to keep it going.

Phoenix Preacher may go on about those dastardly ODMs being a problem, but they have fallen away like dominoes especially the true independent ones. I get the feeling even sounding the warning siren-call has fallen out of vogue too. I am no prophet or guru, and sometimes I ask "Who am I to even post about these things?"

 The pressure to conform can come via that direction too, the one world church is already using these things, that to stand outside it means you are the "nut", the "crazy" and even this one, "to stand outside the churches" means you are not a Christian at all.

PP's path into wafer worship will mean "acceptance" in this world. Sometimes I have felt "burdened" by the things I found out and wrote about here for years, was some happiness lost not being in a church with people who loved and cared about me? Did I ask too many questions, think too much? Funny I state it that way, I know. I'm not perfect. My husband has heard musings about me missing out on a "nice church" because of this blog and my desire not to be hypocrite. I'd probably would have been forced out of all of these churches anyway, having a big mouth and a failure to conform. I knew spiritually that would be happening anyway.

Some ripped on me for thinking I was the "worlds" best Christian" or "too pure" for church but I never saw it that way. I knew I was far from perfect but I never could shut down my mind or what I had learned via God's Word, and refused to "get with the program" they wanted me to get with.

I'm hoping now to post some "discussion topics" I can post as an "article" and allow for some discussion, I think that would be a good idea. Suggest any topics you would like to see here.

Also if you know of other "ODMS" still alive and running and NOT with an agenda as you can tell or discern so far, I would be happy to hear about others as well. 


Trump Turning Churches More Political



Wow, now the preachers can be direct in telling you to vote Republican instead of couching it in more indirect terms. I had at least two stump for Republican candidates in indirect fashions.

I had a funny moment the other week, going to a local community meeting regarding elderly and disability issues, and hearing the out of touch Republican state representatives go on about all the "unfilled jobs". They basically said, "Poor people are lazy and don't want to work." I know tons of unemployed people around here. One guy was from a more rural area and was more down to earth, but the others, definitely seemed completely out of touch.

 Aren't the churches too political? When I was looking for a church, I had my choice of red pill churches {Republican} party or blue pill churches {Democratic} party. The fact you never can find one that bucks the trend, says something.

 They are already quite political, and now they want them to be even more so?  I am speaking out against evils being done, especially the "death panels" they got planned for disabled and elderly people. So I have no problem with Christians doing that, but one thing, I never saw a church pastor ever speak out against the system or any of the oppression. The churches have become mouth-pieces for our oppressors.

 Look at Greg Laurie and that Trump boot-licking faith council. They can't even tell the guy to ease up on the disabled or that the country has been bankrupted by too many wars? Well we know that's not going to happen. Some pundits online said, this really "won't change" anything but the focus to turn the churches MORE political is part of the Dominionist system and agenda.

Greg Laurie Visits the White House



What did they pray for? More Middle Eastern wars? More "death panels" via the Republican party by the possible way of Trump care? You'll never see any of these so called "godly" preachers questioning the evils of the Republican party.

Check out the "Faith Advisory Board" pictured a little bit into his video. Are those ties really by accident? Don't the freemasons use the rainbow as a symbol too?

Notice how he talks about them being like "little children" overly impressed with power, and seeking the love and praise of men. I read years ago Laurie was going to be slated as the new "Billy Graham". He tries to distance himself from the political end of everything saying, "If the president of the United States invites you for dinner...., you go to dinner with the president." 

He speaks of offering Trump, "godly counsel". He says, "We need to permeate every level of culture because that is what we are supposed to do." Do you believe that many members of this administration are "overt Christians"?Well I suppose you can guess what I think of that.

Monday, May 1, 2017