Friday, May 18, 2012

The Pearl's Evil Advice Regarding Babies

Don't forget the Pearl's website is recommended by the Duggars right on their website.

And don't forget what I have said about the Pearls and their emphasis on TRAINING [they want folks to train children like people do animals]

Everything is about CONTROL to these people. I think when people are teaching that one should be swatting at seven month old babies something has truly gone crazy. Babies that young developmentally do not know better, they will start connecting "mother" or "father" to pain instead of love and comfort. Talk about the grounds for what is basically emotionally and physical abuse of infants.

Mail Bag on Babies

Mike Pearl's Advice:

Mike: One of the things I am impressed with there is she says it seems like almost everything is off limits for the child, and that is a fact of life. In my own house, most of what’s in my house is off limits to me. In other words, I don’t go into my daughters’ rooms and handle their toys, their objects, or their pictures or their treasures. I don’t get into their drawers. I don’t go into their closets. I don’t go into my boys’ rooms. I don’t go in there and touch and handle their vehicles. I don’t drive their vehicles without asking. When you go into a store, much of what is in a store is off limits. You can’t get into the jewelry case. You can’t get into where the watches are. It’s locked behind the glass. You can’t go into a grocery store and pick up anything that you see and stick it into your mouth. Most of life is full of limits. And when a child is born there are no limits. As I said the child knows pain. The child knows pleasure. The child has a want, a need, and then the need develops into a want. The want develops into a demand, and the demand develops into indulgence; and pretty soon the child is living a life of passion and indulgences and fulfillment. The job of a parent is to train that child to fit into society; to train that child to make adjustments NOW before it becomes embarrassing. If the child is trained at 7 months, then at 17 months you won’t have her throwing a fit in the grocery store because she expects to have everything that she sees sitting around her and be able to put it into her mouth. So YES, almost everything IS off limits to a child, and that’s a lesson you’ve got to communicate to your daughter. And you have to communicate it NOW while it’s easy. Later on it will be much more difficult.
What kind of people expect a baby to be TRAINED? Dare I say it's about suppressing the will, and squelching a young child's natural desire to explore and learn?
Debi: Now I want to say that at 7 months old the child is not old enough to be able to reason that ‘if I do this, I’m going to get a spanking.’ The child is not old enough to be punished, obviously, at that age. So we use a thump or a little switch on the back of the hand, one stroke or two strokes, something like that, not to afflict suffering or pain on the child, but just to draw their attention to our word. And of course you only have to do that when they’re being rebellious or stubborn and refuse to listen to the NO. Refuse to respond. But don’t depend on that little swat or that little switching as all there is to training. It’s not. That’s a small part of it. Consistency is the keyword. Extreme consistency. Being very alert. Being diligent. Parenting is a full time job, and it requires vigilance. It requires studying the child’s eyes. Not just waiting until it becomes a frustrating, overt, outward failure to comply. But watching the eyebrows and the eyes, the slump of the shoulders, and anticipating what that child is thinking and feeling. And making sure that we are always in control and that we are training the child to be self-controlled and self-disciplined.
What else is the switch on the hand for but like a little mini-shock to get the baby to do your bidding? It is all very weird. Even the strange vigilance that Debbie here calls for a parent to hold over a child, where life is all about submitting to a bigger stronger older person's will where she tells the parent to look for the outward failure to comply is insane. Make sure never to let even an infant have an independent thought that does not have your extreme twisted helicopter parenting to monitor every eye brow raise, tear from the eye or diverted gaze! Babies do need constant care. It's supposed to be CARE and LOVE and being a parent not a GUARD.  This stuff is sick. Seven month old babies are not thinking about how they are going to get one over on their parents. They are usually concerned with hunger, thirst, sleeping, learning and being comforted and loved but of course that is forgotten here, her line that sums everything up of what is desired, is "we are always in control".
Debi: I was just thinking, you said you did make some mistakes. You allowed your child to play with your hair and your necklaces, and now you have to go back. It is true that it takes a lot longer to re-train than it does to train. So right now you are having to train and un-train an already very WELL-trained child. That child has been trained that she can grab your hair, your necklace, somebody’s glasses, and she gets a little flick. Well, the flick was for a newborn. You have a 7 month old and that baby’s old enough to understand the word NO, and so you’re doing some back-walking. You are re-doing what you have already messed up. So it’s going take a little bit more reinforcement and maybe a little heavier reinforcement than a flick, now that the child is 7 months old

What does she mean by heavier reinforcement? With a seven month old, if they are pulling hair or breaking jewelry- this isn't done on purpose, just natural looking and learning, you divert it's attention or remove them from the situation, you do not go on a punishment free-for all to maintain some weird control and training.

Do these people even see children and babies as HUMANS?

Remember what I have said about the Oppression of Youth in Dominionism. These folks want you to start young. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Be cautious lumping Michael Pearl in with the "Patriarchal" crowd. He is easily misunderstood. I cannot really fathom why the Duggars would endorse him, unless they are somewhat ignorant of his complete teachings. As I said, he is easily misunderstood, and many conservative movements or groups might mis-characterize him as being on "their team". Nothing has been as ridiculed and mis-represented as his "child-training" techniques.

Nice blog BTW