"Lazy Husband, Hungry Kids and Hopeful Wives"
Remember when I talked about the Quiverful/Vision Forum movement and Patriarchy movements keeping women perpetual children? These are women told by the false teachers in these movements to blindly obey men. Satan would love for half of the Christians out there in the world to become helpless and ineffectual. That is what blind obedience brings, whether it is a man that follows a cult leader blindly or a woman being told she must blindly obey a husband and not act in an adult capacity to try and take care of her own children.
In the letter, a woman is married to unsaved man who refuses to work: he is sleeping and lazing about and they have children. He is says he is on a work at home adventure or really what looks like a work at home lay-about, but no real income is coming in whatsoever, where they are facing eviction and she is asking for advice about what to do. There are people who do have to work from home or do freelance in this economy, so that is not a bad thing but the article's odd emphasis on the wife standing by and doing "nothing" as the husband leads the family into poverty and the homeless shelter is not good advice whatsoever!
Pearl has supposedly distanced himself from aspects of the patriarchy movement, but many of its beliefs are seen in this article. The odd calling of an unsaved person as being "visionary" by the lady who wrote the letter speaks for itself! Here one can see the "blind submission" teachings as presented by Debi Pearl. Note the Command Man, Visionary Man, and Steady Man, it is all very strange.
Back to the letter and the Pearls response to it. This idea that this lady can't even speak up for her and her children's future or act in behalf for it, to even protect the children is nonsense:
Clearly God meant for every man to work and provide for his household. So you and God are agreed, but that doesn’t mean your husband is going to jump up and get a job just because you tell him what God has said. So, what is a wife supposed to do? Basically nothing—nothing in word and nothing in deed. Just stay cheerful and loving. Your situation is better than most, for you have parents who, while not pushy, are willing to help. First, thank God for that wonderful mercy.
The advice to run back home and let her parents support them while many grandparents are happy to help their grandchildren and grown daughters' to lay such a burden on one's parents in passivity and learned helplessness doesn't seem much of an answer. In this case, this mother is to be relegated as an unthinking, un-acting person in the background. This particular lady has parents who are involved in her life, who live near by, but what about someone who does not, where both parents may be poor themselves on a fixed income, or in a nursing home unable to offer help?
That said, if this lady was in a decent church, they would be helping to feed her and her family, she would not be wholly dependent on the mercy of her parents. The scripture doesn't add up either. They speak of a lady [Abigail] who takes action, instead of their advice here which is for her to sit back. The idea of "respectful disobedience" seems absurd here too. They give that as an "out clause", I suppose to keep the children from being taken away by social workers in a homeless shelter because their parents can no longer take care of them. By the way that is happening, so their advice in today's economy and world, is even worse. If Poverty is bad enough, children can be taken away under state "neglect laws":
"But, as NCCPR goes on to argue, many child protection laws virtually define poverty as neglect. In Illinois, for example, it’s failure to provide “care necessary for [a child's] well-being.” Here in the District of Columbia, negligent treatment is “failure to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, or medical care.”
What are the Pearls telling this woman but to stay a perpetual child, to run home to her parents, and not even try to look out for her children's welfare? This is one place where one sees the whole blind obedience thing taken way too far. The idea she is to stand by in silence is nonsense, when it is her children's well being at stake.
One thing the Bible does not say be silent in the face of evil. There are times when Christian men AND women need to stand up. She should be finding out if her husband has some type of emotional or physical illness precluding working. If he is choosing to give up, on supporting his family and is choosing not to work that is a problem too. This bad economy can put a lot of men under severe pressures too. But their answer stay passive and sit by silently as things implode is nonsense. Yes prayer is important but God often directs us to take action as well. Sitting by silently while your own children very well will go hungry is total nonsense. The Lord will provide for Christians, but this is not based on following false teachings of men. This type of advice opens women up to even more problems and exploitation by the wicked.
I hope in this case, her parents are merciful and help her out. But passivity is not the answer here, following God's direction and looking out for her children is. By the way where is the church in this mess? A decent one would be helping this family and extorting the husband to start supporting his family. This sort of advice shows where unthinking obedience and patriarchy beliefs have led to a horrible place where submission to the husband comes first before even a mother's natural conscience driven drive to protect her own children! This is reinvented false "Christian" "Taliban" teachings.
There is a lot about Michael Pearl's website that is disturbing, and it goes along with the bad advice. I first saw his website a couple years ago before I had ever read anything about it, and the whole place gave me an "uneasy feeling". I do not agree with their child training methods, and other odd exercises. Some of these articles referred to are not written by the Pearls but are posted on their website. Here is one with the odd acronym of ESP. This one about "You've Got Worms" is also kind of odd since it recommends the intake of the herb wormwood--which can be very dangerous! By the way they have the DO NOT TAKE while pregnant warnings because wormwood is a drug that has been used for a medicinal abortificant [a drug that induces abortion]. This is an extreme one to suggest for people to use! I also find myself thinking isn't Absinthe made out of wormwood? You know the beverage 19th century bohemians used to drink where they had hallucinations? The child training stuff is weird too, it seems all focused on breaking the child's will, rather then teaching them right from wrong and having them develop a conscience and helping to lead them to God. This one disturbed me as a 4 year old is already pegged a "rebel" for life. "We are seeing the heart of a rebel.... She wants to do the opposite because that is who she has decided to be". Maybe for a 17 year old but a 4 year old? Maybe it has to do with the constant spanking and inattention? The article gets even more disturbing:
"And when you do spank, make sure that it is forceful enough to get her undivided attention. If she can scream "huggie" while you are spanking her, you are probably not spanking hard enough."And further along: "Do not answer any more questions, and do not respond except with a switch, in the event she breaks any of the rules." I'll let my readers check this out for themselves. It is very scary. I guess when life is all about extreme submission to authority, four years old isn't too early to start and includes putting an intercom in the child's room for even more "control". Other Christians have exposed the occult markings on the site and elsewhere. All I know is reading through that website, with even just a short glance, it was obvious the spirit of it was all wrong. Please beware.
The gist of all this? Christians need to stop listening to "experts" just because they know some Bible verses, if even the basics of love, compassion and good sense are missing, that should tell you they are NOT giving you Godly advice!