Friday, November 4, 2011

Abuse in Dominionism: "Ultrasound of Abuse"


I wanted to share this article especially if you have seen the video that went viral with the judge beating his daughter. It is from a blog called The Wartburg Watch. I do not agree with the blog in question with many things [Calvinism etc.] but felt this article was of interest.

"An Ultrasound of Abuse"

I talked about the Totalitarian childrearing here: "The Oppression of Youth And Dominionism", which can be bad enough when the parents are loving and well-meaning even if wrong in their approach but what if they are not? Then there is the issue of how the patriarch types approach the abuse of women? That is what gets me while they wax on about these idealistic families, how many wicked men could abuse these endless powers? The naivete' towards the wicked using religion as a covering veneer, is astounding. I do not know if the judge being exposed nationwide is a confessing Christian or not, but it serves as a warning. Where will all this abuse of power lead to?

The Wartburg Watch has this to say about this video:

For far too long our society has turned a blind eye toward domestic violence as well as child abuse. Since we are a faith watch blog, we will keep the focus of this discussion geared toward the Christianity community. Tragically, in a community of believers that should be a "light on a hill", we have a high profile pastor like John Piper telling abused wives that they should endure "verbal abuse for a season" and tolerate "being smacked for one night". Take a look.





This is where the patriarchy absurdities lead to. As I have written before on my blog article "Two Sides of the Same Evil Coin: Radical Feminism Vs. The Patriarchy Movement" Now remember John Piper is a member of the patriarchial "The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood".


What if the wife doesn't survive one night of physical abuse? We saw just how tormented Hillary Adams was in just a handful of minutes by her father as he cracked that leather whip upon her writhing body. Not only did it hurt her physically, but she suffered tremendous emotional damage. Obviously, common sense has gone out the window with Piper and his ilk.

To make matters worse, we have Paige Patterson, two-time president of the Southern Baptist Convention and president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, giving wives the following IDIOTIC advice at what we understand was a Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood conference (wonder how many women were in the audience to hear his ridiculous story). (link)

“I had a woman who was in a church that I served, and she was being subject to some abuse, and I told her, I said, “All right, what I want you to do is, every evening I want you to get down by your bed just as he goes to sleep, get down by the bed, and when you think he’s just about asleep, you just pray and ask God to intervene, not out loud, quietly,” but I said, “You just pray there.” And I said, “Get ready because he may get a little more violent, you know, when he discovers this.” And sure enough, he did. She came to church one morning with both eyes black. And she was angry at me and at God and the world, for that matter. And she said, “I hope you’re happy.” And I said, “Yes ma’am, I am.” And I said, “I’m sorry about that, but I’m very happy."

"And what she didn’t know when we sat down in church that morning was that her husband had come in and was standing at the back, first time he ever came. And when I gave the invitation that morning, he was the first one down to the front. And his heart was broken, he said, “My wife’s praying for me, and I can’t believe what I did to her.” And he said, “Do you think God can forgive somebody like me?” And he’s a great husband today. And it all came about because she sought God on a regular basis. And remember, when nobody else can help, God can.

And in the meantime, you have to do what you can at home to be submissive in every way that you can and to elevate him. Obviously, if he’s doing that kind of thing he’s got some very deep spiritual problems in his life and you have to pray that God brings into the intersection of his life those people and those events that need to come into his life to arrest him and bring him to his knees.”

What is wrong with these so-called Christian leaders? Why is there not an outcry from the pulpit denouncing physical, sexual, and emotional abuse? It’s a very sad day when the secular world seems to care more about the victimization of wives and children than the Christian community. Not only that, why do Christians put up with this nonsense from their leaders? Is it because these hyper-authoritarian pastors have done such a good job of controlling the flock?

Telling an abused woman to be even more submissive? Insane. In actually it's interesting how the onus is always put on the woman to shape up or that the fault for the abuse lies with her, while the men in their proposed leadership roles are told to hold even more power. Why is Matt 18 always ignored in these situations? One needs to draw boundaries and make a stand against abuse and the women in that situation need helped. See here.

I think Wartburg Watch is right about the secular world showing more care for the abused then many of the churches. Those who preach weakness and submission to evil, actually preach the enabling of it. While prayer works, this does not mean abiding and tolerating evil.  That too is an over-encompassing problem in what passes for Christianity today. Dominionism is all about power and control, with a "might makes right" ethos, and well, abuse is an outcome of that.

See:


"Those Hurt By Cults, Toxic Churches And False Pastors"

16 comments:

The Roaming Commoner said...

I saw this on my local news (I live in the same state as the Judge being accused). I can't even stand to look at the reports on that man! Submission seems to be over preached in these patriarchal families to the point where even the grown children can't stand on their own feet. I guess if a woman were married to someone like Jimbob Duggar (if he is how he appears which is questionable), then she is in the minority. However, too many end up with husbands like this judge that do nothing but hurt them.

Bible Believer said...

Yeah, I watched the video, it was very upsetting. I agree, about people being unable to stand on their own two feet, even grown child. Get this, some of the patriarchs preach that the grown children are to obey their father even past the age of 18 and even after marriage. I agree, there are many latent psychopaths and others out there, who would choose the patriarchial lifestyle just for the power and control it would give them. I agree about Jimbob, if he is as he appears, he seems nice and well meaning but what about the ones who are not, who end up with the people who hurt them. In a patriarchial system there is no recourse, all we have to do is look at the extremes of Islam and their treatment of women as property and chattel open to all sorts of abuse, to see that. Webwide, there are many websites, where young people have come out of abusive situations, where their family were in patriarchial churches. The two do go together. There is no healthy growth or real Christian living when everything is about dominance and control.

Kayfabe said...

This is the area where I have questions as a christian. Does a wife or a husband have to endure emotional abuse and be miserable for the rest of their lives because they made a decision to get married? I know many people that are going thru this right now and I don't know what to tell them. I know what the scriptures say about divorce but I am tempted to give that advice in certain situations.

Anonymous said...

I do not believe in father/daughter discipline(spanking,etc.). My father never spanked me. My husband never spanked our daughters.I believe the Bible teaches father/son discipline between the ages of 10-19("child"). The Bible teaches a young man is an adult at 20(Ex. 30:14,Num.1:45,Num.14:29,I Chron.23:24,27). I think the churches should have a policy that they will pay for the dental work(due to abuse) of abused women and then let's see what they teach(I think they will say that the woman should leave before she gets loose teeth). The fathers teach the children to be respectful to the mothers. If the fathers are not respectful to these women then the children(and their future spouses)and grandchildren won't be respectful. Many men are abusive to get their wives to leave so they won't be the "bad guys". These women have nowhere to go and the reality of homes for abused women and their children may be worse or just as bad(bullying,lice,changing schools often,etc.).

Bible Believer said...

Kayfabe,

I have questions about that too. I do not think a wife or husband has to endure endless emotional or physical abuse. 1 Corinthians 7 describes when someone has to depart. I think many people probably would have no other choice, considering their physical and emotional safety:

11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

I know it is difficult. I also think of all those verses ignored by the "woman submit" crowd, about standing up against evil. Why aren't the churches holding especially the men in question accountable? These teachers are actually opening doors for wicked men to have even more control and power. In cases of more mild abuse, drawing boundaries, and refusing the wickedness really is the only true recourse the woman has, if she has a husband of any conscience, she may have some success in improving the situation. But there are many many cases, where the men are wicked, lack a conscience, are seared, are so violent and abusive, the only choice a woman has for her own safety and children's safety is to depart and get out. These churches telling women to submit, and become more submissive, are only guaranteeing more abuse. Many of the ones that say they are Christian but go home to abuse their wives, religion is just one of their veneers, they are just as lost as the unbelievers down the street.

I believe divorce should be avoided but if a woman or man is in a horrible situation there is no sin in departing due to abuse.

Bible Believer said...

Anon,

Thanks for your views, the Bible does have verses about the older women teaching the younger women, and older men with the young men, so that is interesting.

I think spankings beyond a certain age are hugely nonsensical and basically based on abuse and humiliation instead of any true parental teaching. I still remember a college dorm friend who told me she got spanked at the age of 21 for too college low grades by her hyper-dominionist father and I found something extremely twisted about all that. At 16, that judge only wanted to beat, harm and humilitate his daughter, that wasn't about teaching. Why not just remove her computer or the computer cables if she was downloading illegal things? He became far more evil, then she did in downloading acouple files from Napster or wherever she did it.

Interesting concept about the dental work, well with abused women, if the abuse is serious there can be endless medical bills and other horrors. We do not see churches helping with any of that. Most abused Christian women are having to enter the feminist secular world to get help with abuse and the mainstream shelters.

Those who don't show any respect cannot expect it themselves, you are right, the fathers who are abusive, and tell the children to be respectful, well they are hypocrites.

If the fathers are not respectful to these women then the children(and their future spouses)and grandchildren won't be respectful. You are right there are those who abuse, to get them to leave.

When I was young, I volunteered at an domestic abuse shelter, many women ended up in severe straits. Very few know that once your 4 weeks [the traditional allowed time] is up, for many women, especially those with no jobs or other support-family or otherwise, that could mean homelessness. Sometimes children are even taken away by the state at that point because the mother does not have the means to support them. I agree about the nature of the homes, some are good but some are in dangerous neighborhoods.

There are websites out there that detail how the churches are failing in this area. I agree with this ladies advice, take things to God and ask Him, what you should do.

http://nybride710.hubpages.com/hub/How-the-Christian-Church-is-Failing-Abused-Women

http://dannimoss.wordpress.com/2008/05/07/it-is-time-to-being-speaking-the-church-and-domestic-violence/

With the Dominionism, and the extreme patriarchial power and control, I would suggest for these churches, things are only going to get worse. Already we see the Stepford wife concept being played full blown in front of our eyes.

Kayfabe said...

The fact that abused christian women have to go to the secular world for shelter is really a testimony against the institutional church. The Calvary I went to was 4,000 strong but women and even men who were in dire situations whether it was abuse or financial were always directed to government programs to get help. Aren't the believers in the fellowship supposed to care for their brothers and sisters? Any sister or brother who is in need should be comforted by the brethren as our abundance should make up for their lack.

Bible Believer said...

I definitely agree Kayfabe, why do abused Christian women have to go to the secular world? There they will face many non-believers who will give them the world's solutions and lack the same type of love they would find among the brethern. I have noticed that, everyone is directed to the social workers and gov't programs, some of whom hold feminist and anti-christian viewpoints making things even tougher on the women. I am glad shelters are there for women in general but where is the support for Christian women facing things. I have often talked about the financial end of things and the neglect of many of the churches. Those who are poor learn they are not welcome pretty fast in some of these places. I didn't realize how rare my first good church was, in having the members help each other out. Believers are supposed to help each other. You are right. I do think this is a definite testimony against the institutional church too!

Anonymous said...

I am the anonymous that previously commented. I knew a woman who was in a shelter. She was advised to put her 3 children in foster care. She did and then she was talked into giving those children up for adoption to the foster care parents. I watched her baby(her 4th child with her husband) and I watched her walk to the bus stop to sign the papers. When my daughter was "with child" before marriage I told her not to go near the ministry for unwed mothers,etc. that our church supported because I was afraid some Christian lady would talk her into giving my granddaughter up for adoption.

Bible Believer said...

I can imagine a woman with no funds or wondering how she will support her children put under duress to put them up for adoption. Was that why she signed you think? I am glad you told your daughter that, adoption can end up being very painful and you then lose your granddaughter. I do not understand these older parents maybe if they are very ill or something, who let a pregnant teenage daughter put a child up for adoption, because then they lose a grandchild.....

Anonymous said...

I read over at cadz.net that John Piper tells people that are divorced and remarried that they can stay in the adulterous marriage. I disagree with that. Our church-Conservative Baptist- won't marry someone if a former spouse is still alive. I don't know if that is really what Piper teaches but that is what I understand from something I read at that web site. I agree with Dr. Cathy Burns's tract on divorce and remarriage(Matthew 19:9KJ refers to betrothal).

Bible Believer said...

I'll have to check out the tract from Dr. Cathy Burns, would be interesting. Most of the churches freely remarry divorced people so it is a problem out there. There are some circumstances where a person is not in bondage. 1 Cor. 7, unbeliever leaves you because of your post-marriage Christian faith, cheating of the other partner, but many of these remarriages those things are not applying.

Katie Novack said...

People can stay married. There is no such thing as an ' adulterous marriage.' 1 tim. 3:2 and 12, 1 tim. 5:9, titus 1:5-7 and john 4:18 are all new testament verses stating the reality of multiple spouse. 1 corinthians 7 was written to new converts before the new testament was written. No one has ever been instructed by God to divorce to gain His forgiveness. Even in the story of Ezra, God never commanded those divorces. People who state that remarried individuals must divorce again believe a lie.

Anonymous said...

What is Significant about Adultery in Remarriage?

When Jesus said, "whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery" He said something significant...

When Jesus made that statement, He was stating that divorce does not end the first marriage. Some people have assumed that divorce ends the first marriage, but Jesus said that it is not true.

The sin of adultery can only occur if one or both of the persons involved is married. If neither of the persons are married the term adultery cannot be used.

When Jesus said that "whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery", He was stating that when a man marries a divorced woman he is living with another man's wife and therefore is guilty of adultery.

God states that the sexual intercourse of a divorced and remarried couple is adultery.

Therefore each time they have sexual intercourse they commit an act of adultery. As they continue to have sexual relations and there is no repentance, it becomes a state of adultery.

Therefore, adultery in remarriage is both an act each time it occurs, and a continuing state of sinning.

Divorce does not make a man or a woman single again. Divorce does not end a person's first marriage. That is why a person commits adultery when they marry and live with a divorced person.

Do we get the significance of Jesus' use of the word adultery? Adultery could not occur in remarriage if divorce ended the first marriage.

Adultery can only occur in remarriage because the divorced spouse is still married to their first marriage partner in Jesus' judgment.

Jesus is the Judge we will stand before, for our hearing on Judgment Day and it is important that we understand our Judge's reasoning and logic if we want to enter Heaven.

The significance of the sin of adultery in remarriage is that divorce does not end a person's first marriage!

God has joined the husband and wife together as one. "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.'".

Man's civil action of divorce in the court system of this earth, does not end the "one flesh" aspect of the marriage that God has joined together.

http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html

Dee Perez said...

you just named verse that basically express that if you are a person who has been married more than once you cant serve God in leadership. so how does that justify remarriage? if anything it condemns it.

Dee Perez said...

amen